Question: Dear Dayton: Inquiring minds want to know: Your Top 10 Trek hotties, in order from 10 to 1 of who you’d most like to take to Risa. Many thanks!
Finally! A weighty topic, worthy of extensive deliberation. These are the types of deep, philosophical questions for which the “Ask Dayton” segment was created, by golly!
So, ten Star Trek hotties, who I’d like to take with me to Risa. Before we proceed, I feel compelled to point out the big flaw in this question: If you’re going to Risa, you don’t really need to bring anybody with you. For those who haven’t read the travel brochure or visited the planet’s website, the place is teeming with all manner of willing companions representing every species in the Federation and even some of the wilder races from the outlying neutral planets. You know the freaky deakies I’m talkin’ about.
But, for the purposes of answering this question, I’m willing to play along. Now, I’ll admit up front that, yes, there are several very obvious answers here. T’Pol? Sure. Ro Laren? Of course. Deanna Troi? Oh, yeah, she’d be crazy fun. However, rather than taking the easy way out and fill my starting line-up roster to overflowing with main characters or frequently recurring guest characters, I tried to mix things up a bit and include some guest characters which for one reason or another left a lasting impression on this wayward lad. With that in mind, on with the countdown:
10. Yeoman Tonia Barrows, from the TOS episode “Shore Leave.” Whether dressed in her flaming red miniskirt uniform or the flowing silk gown of a princess, she’s just what the doctor ordered.
9. Ishara Yar, Tasha’s younger sister from NextGen’s “Legacy.” Did you SEE that blue bodysuit number they gave her to wear while she was on the Enterprise? This woman is hotter than donut grease.
8. Navaar, the Orion from the Enterprise episode “Bound.” Look, we all know that the Orion ladies know their business. In fact, I fear for every other woman on Risa when I show up at the hotel bar with her on my arm.
Finish this sentence: “Once you go green, you’ll _________________.”
Oh, and did you know she has even her own relationship advice column, AND she’s also a Rush fan? True story.
7. Kamala, “The Perfect Mate.” What? You want more? She’s already called “The Perfect Mate.” What the hell more do you need?
6. Droxine, from “The Cloud Minders” episode of the original series. Even the normally unflappable Spock suffered an involuntary redirection of blood flow from one brain to the other when he locked his logical peepers on her. Fascinating, yo.
5. Intendant Kira. That’s right, I said it. What? A guy can’t have a little mirror universe fantasizin’ goin’ on once in a while? It’s not like any of this is real, all right? So back off, and let me have my fun. However, if you don’t hear from me in an hour or so, assume I’ve been stabbed and thrown out an airlock.
4. Okay, it’s time to start bringing in some of the first-stringers: Leeta, everybody’s favorite Dabo girl from Quark’s Bar. Look, Rom, let’s be real: she’s too good for you. In truth, she’s too good for me, but Rom doesn’t have his own Q&A segment on a cool internet radio show airing at unholy hours on Sunday mornings, so I win.
3. Original or Extra Lens Flare, this bright young communications officer of the original Starship Enterprise can open my hailing frequencies any time.
2. Hoshi Sato. My wife will tell you that I already have a thing for Asian women. Besides, Ensign Hoshi can talk dirty to me in languages that don’t even exist yet. Meee-yow.
1. Okay, I’m caving. My number one pick can only be Seven of Nine. Resistance truly is futile.
So, there you go: my Top Ten Star Trek Hotty Travel Companions to Risa AND BEYOND. Somebody wanna pass me that horga’hn?