G&T Show – Ask Dayton 104 – Crossing the Streams
With the news there will be a Star Trek/Planet of the Apes crossover in comics I can assume, after spewing vodka all over the screen, you had to wring out your underpants with the joy juice spilled. So what would be five other crossovers you would like to see? Six Million Dollar Man/X-Files? Ghostbusters/Ghost Rider? What would Dayton like to see?
I think the first thing I’d like to see is a moratorium on people I don’t know attempting to name my various bodily fluids. I mean, “Joy juice?” Little creepy there, is all I’m sayin’. You leave me to my dribbles and drabbles, and I’ll extend you the same courtesy, okey doke?
(It occurs to me that my title for this answer, “Crossing the Streams,” now takes on a whole new, rather disturbing subtext. Whoops.)
Yes, I was indeed quite jazzed to hear about the forthcoming Star Trek/Planet of the Apes comics project from IDW and BOOM! Studios. Why? Because I find such things fun, whimsical, and ultimately harmless exercises. Also, I derive further entertainment from knowing that whenever something like this is announced, some supercharged fanboy ruptures one of those veins in his forehead or neck because he can’t bear to see his “precious” diluted or perverted in such a manner.
Pure comedy gold, that.
So, what’s the deal with crossovers like this? Basically, they do pretty much what we all did as kids with our eclectic collections of actions figures. GI Joe, Superman, Captain Kirk, and Steve Austin all teamed up against Darth Vader, Maskatron, Frankenstein, and Skeletor to thwart the forces of evil lurking within our bedrooms, the living room, our back yards, or whatever. Crossovers like this, in comics or books or wherever they might pop up, essentially are wish fulfillment on the part of the people writing and drawing them. To those creators, I tip my hat and say, “Fuck the haters.”
Crossovers have been a staple of comics forever, particularly in the 70s and 80s when I was reading both Marvel and DC titles and they had mashups like Superman vs. Spider-Man or Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk. And let’s not forget those historic Saturday morning meetings between Batman and Robin and Scooby-Doo and the gang. Hardcore Batman fans still twitch whenever that one’s mentioned. These days, a few of the smaller comics publishers who dally with several licensed properties have been increasing the ways in which they bring those IPs together. Dynamite and IDW in particular have been going whole hog with some of these, with everything from pulp heroes of yesteryear to more recent and active film, TV, and game franchises.
Do all crossovers succeed to the same degree? Of course not. Aliens vs. Predator, the comics? Awesome. Aliens vs. Predator, the films? Not so much. Freddy vs. Jason? A better concept over drinks at Happy Hour than an actual movie, but whatever. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures wearing Star Trek uniforms? Damned funny. Ken and Barbie wearing Star Trek uniforms? Ill-advised, to say the least. Blade, the vampire hunter and Twilight? Hell yes, if only to see Blade driving a stake through Edward’s taint.
So, what are five crossovers I’d want to see? I’m purposely excluding Star Trek from this answer, because I already did that a little while back, and if you love me you’ll head over to StarTrek.com and see what I scribbled about the topic over there: Ten Insane Star Trek Crossovers That Would Still Be Awesome
So, what are five others? Just because it amuses me, here are a few from outside the proverbial box:
Hawaii Five-0/Magnum, P.I. – Okay, this first one’s not really outside the box at all, but instead a softball one to get us started. This should be easy. McGarrett and the gang have a case that requires them to seek out the assistance of a retired private investigator still living on the island. Ferrari and mustache enter scene stage right. Go.
Castle/Californication – Two writers who both hail from the Big Apple but with completely different outlooks on life? One of Hank Moody’s latest monumental fuckups brings Detective Kate Beckett and Rick Castle calling, and cue hilarity. How long would it take Hank to hit on Beckett, and how long would it take Beckett to face-plant Moody on the sidewalk? Meanwhile, Castle remains ruggedly handsome in his stylish “WRITER” tac vest.
The Six Million Dollar Man/Predator – Hey, he already fought fembots, Bigfoot, and a death probe from Venus. This should be a piece of cake, right? Steve Austin is sent into some hot-as-fuck shithole on a rescue mission or to retrieve or steal some secret, sensitive technology thingamabob, and ends up going one on one with a Predator who’s in town for some carnage and perhaps a decent surf and turf buffet. Too silly? Only if we add Bigfoot. Shark = Jumped.
Escape from New York/Big Trouble in Little China/The Thing/Tango & Cash – If you can’t see the epic appeal of Snake Plissken, Jack Burton, R.J. MacReady, and Gabe Cash teaming up to fight evil in all its forms, I can’t help you.
Tron/Max Headroom – Okay, you’re allowed a little, “What the hell is he smoking?” here, but come on. Max and Tron going up against the Master Control Program for all the virtual marbles? Kevin Flynn, Alan Bradley and Edison Carter having to team up in the Real World, while their digital doppelgangers wage utter war on the Game Grid? All eight bits are tingling at the very thought, yo. Oh, and you know what? Throw in Automan, because why the fuck not?
And there you go. Somebody in Hollywood or comics land start making some of this shit happen, or hire me and I’ll make it happen. If the fucking Punisher can get a comic teaming him with Eminem, then you’ve got room for me.
I’ll just be over here, sitting by the phone and holding my breath.
But, wait. There’s more.
He is the co-owner of Busy Little Beaver Productions and is the producer and co-host for G & T Show and Gates of Sto’vo’kor. He’s directed voice actors, and produced and edited audio podcasts and dramas because he doesn’t have the face for video. He plays well with others and is always on the look out for the next project, the next thing, the next next. If he wasn’t working on something with a half dozen other projects waiting in the wings, somebody please check to make sure he’s still breathing.
During the day, he’s a mild-mannered computer repair man who dabbles in web design in his small, rural, Central California community. He lives with his lovingly dysfunctional family and loyal canine companion and spends most of his time in the closet concocting some hair-brained scheme or another. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with Lego video games, Klingons, and Star Trek Online that borders on the neurotic.
Despite all this, he still finds the time to write the words. Find out what he's doing here.
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