Ask Dayton #23 – The Ginger and Mary Ann of Star Trek
Dear Dayton: Ginger or Mary Ann? Which do you prefer? Also, which Star Trek women do you think fit into these archetypes, and which do you prefer? Inquiring minds want to know.
So, after last week’s rather interesting question about writer’s block, I guess we’re back to the usual sort of queries for which this segment has become known. That’s probably a good thing, because I don’t know if I could handle two serious or even semi-serious questions in a row.
Ginger or Mary Ann? I have to confess that I’ve never been one to lust after fictional women. Don’t get me wrong; I have a great appreciation for lovely actresses. Olivia Wilde? A rather stunning young woman, for whatever the hell my opinion’s worth. That program chick/whatever character she played in the last Tron flick? Eh, not really my bag. Jennifer Connelly? Yes. Betty Ross from The Hulk? No. Diane Lane? Oh, hell yes. Martha Kent from this year’s Man of Steel? Not so much.
See how this works? Saying you’ve got a thing for someone who doesn’t really exist is kinda sorta weird, if you ask me. Still, I suppose that’s not nearly as odd as those dudes who get all hot and bothered over cartoon chicks. Yo, Pezhead: Jessica Rabbit’s not going to walk out of the TV screen, invite you over to her place, and let you check out the tramp stamp Roger talked her into getting one drunken Saturday night. Oh, and don’t even get me started on those creepy fucks who go gaga over My Little Pony.
However, for the sake of the show’s listeners, I’ll play along just this once. If I had to choose between Ginger and Mary Ann, I’d probably have to go with Mary Ann. Yes, Ginger’s the sexy actress with the slinky gown, crazy curves, and a sultry voice that makes your knees melt and gives you that funny tingly sensation in your naughty place. But, think about the lovely Mary Ann, the farmer’s daughter who somehow afforded a vacation trip to Hawaii. First time away from home, all by herself in the land of bikinis, surfers and coconut suntan oil; wholesome, but maybe not too wholesome, right? Willing to go that extra mile and maybe try some the really freaky shit Ginger won’t go for? One can only hope.
So, there you go. Mary Ann. Of course, she’s older than my mother, so let’s not dwell on this too long, okay?
Now, as far as how Star Trek women fall into these archetypes? That’s an interesting question.
Jadzia Dax? Ginger. Ezri? Mary Ann.
Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi? Despite the obvious hair parallels, I’d have to go with Beverly as Mary Ann and Deanna as Ginger. Wait. I just had an odd image of the Gilligan’s Island gang attending a Betazoid wedding. Thurston Howell III as a Betazoid groomsman? There’s something you can’t un-see. Am I right?
T’Pol? Ginger. Hoshi Sato. Mary Ann. Empress Hoshi? She’s pulling Ginger around on a leash.
Kes? Mary Ann. Seven of Nine? Ginger.
Major Kira? Kinda Mary Ann. Intendant Kira? Ginger? Let me think about that for a second.
I’m still thinking.
I’m thinking some more.
Okay, I’m done. Got a smoke?
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Mary Ann. It’s all about Mary Ann.
Wait. Mary Ann and Intendant Kira?
Let me think about that for a second…..
But, wait. There’s more.
He is the co-owner of Busy Little Beaver Productions and is the producer and co-host for G & T Show and Gates of Sto’vo’kor. He’s directed voice actors, and produced and edited audio podcasts and dramas because he doesn’t have the face for video. He plays well with others and is always on the look out for the next project, the next thing, the next next. If he wasn’t working on something with a half dozen other projects waiting in the wings, somebody please check to make sure he’s still breathing.
During the day, he’s a mild-mannered computer repair man who dabbles in web design in his small, rural, Central California community. He lives with his lovingly dysfunctional family and loyal canine companion and spends most of his time in the closet concocting some hair-brained scheme or another. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with Lego video games, Klingons, and Star Trek Online that borders on the neurotic.
Despite all this, he still finds the time to write the words. Find out what he's doing here.
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