Ask Dayton #28 – Why?
A loyal fan
Before I get on with answering this deep, thought-provoking question, I want to take a moment and throw a shout-out Nick’s way. He’s had a rough week, on top of a bunch of rough weeks before that, and he’s somehow managed to keep chugging along with all the humor and grace we’ve come to expect from the guy.
At last report, he was out of the hospital after his surgery and now is resting at home. As I write this, I have no idea if he’ll be up for co-hosting this week’s show, but even if he’s just listening, I want to say that I’m glad you’re home, and I hope you get to feeling like your old self very soon.
Though no self-respecting Marine would ever be caught dead saying this to anyone from another branch of the military, and in fact I’ll be dipping into my jarhead karma account for even thinking about it, I’m gonna say it, anyway: Semper Fi, bro.
Now, on with this week’s question, which I’ll restate just in case you missed or somehow failed to comprehend it the first time: “Why?”
Why? WHY WHAT?
Why are we here?
Why, in all the countless planets within all the numberless solar systems making up the billions of galaxies in our universe, do we occupy this particular insignificant little pebble?
Why, when considering all the myriad ways life could have evolved on this specific world, did we end up with the gaggle of potato chip-munching, reality television-watching, porn-obsessed asshats comprising the human race?
Why, in the age of the internet—itself the most sophisticated communications and information exchange tool in the history of our civilization—are so many people so fucking stupid? Further, why do they seem to revel in this distinction? Lastly, why are so many of those people allowed to have children, carry guns, drive, or vote? Why aren’t we tagging and monitoring these idiots?
Why is it that the only thing that seems to work at my cable company with any consistency is their billing software?
Why is MTV still called MTV? The M used to stand for Music, and MTV hasn’t been about music since before half you people were born. MTV is to music as Taco Bell is to Mexico. Today, the M stands for “meh.” Why is this channel still taking up space on my cable lineup?
Why do people always “reply all” to an e-Mail distribution list, bitching at everybody else on the list not to use the “reply all” feature? Punch yourself in the throat, you moron. You’re part of the problem. Why haven’t you punched yourself in the throat yet?
Why is it that the slowest cashier in the store will always be manning the register for the line in which I’m standing?
Why is bacon, a food with no discernible nutritional value, so damned delicious?
Why, with so many promising candidates from which to choose, each of them with their own unique, exciting visions yearning—nay, demanding—to be shared with an eager public, was Michael Bay plucked from obscurity?
Why do dogs treat litter boxes like salad buffets?
Why did I go to the trouble of posing all these dumbass questions, when I know Nick is just going to fire them back at me for future “Ask Dayton” segments?
But, wait. There’s more.
He is the co-owner of Busy Little Beaver Productions and is the producer and co-host for G & T Show and Gates of Sto’vo’kor. He’s directed voice actors, and produced and edited audio podcasts and dramas because he doesn’t have the face for video. He plays well with others and is always on the look out for the next project, the next thing, the next next. If he wasn’t working on something with a half dozen other projects waiting in the wings, somebody please check to make sure he’s still breathing.
During the day, he’s a mild-mannered computer repair man who dabbles in web design in his small, rural, Central California community. He lives with his lovingly dysfunctional family and loyal canine companion and spends most of his time in the closet concocting some hair-brained scheme or another. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with Lego video games, Klingons, and Star Trek Online that borders on the neurotic.
Despite all this, he still finds the time to write the words. Find out what he's doing here.
Latest posts by Michael Medeiros (see all)
- G & T Show 300 – Groovy Sarek Visions And Other Stranger Things - October 29, 2017
- G & T Show 299 – You Say Eugenics, I Say Portobello - October 22, 2017
- Resignation - October 18, 2017