Ask Dayton 51 – Dayton’s Mid-Season Update
Dear Dayton “White Shoes” Ward,
We’re at the halfway point in the NFL season. Your thoughts on the biggest
surprises and disappointments, and the good, bad and ugly of the year so far?
Wait…what? How does an internet radio show devoted to Star Trek end up talking about football? Am I secretly auditioning for SportsCenter or something?
Back at the start of this year’s NFL regular season, another listener made me jump through a bunch of hoops and make opening weekend predictions all the way to the damned Super Bowl. I made a point of clarifying back then that—like most football fans who watch this stuff for fun—I have fuck-all idea how things are going to go week to week. I can make guesses, some of which might even seem “educated” to the casual passerby, but between you and me? I don’t know shit about predicting the winners and losers when it comes to sports. Just gimme my beer and my Buffalo wings, and let me watch my Bucs in peace, all right?
However, since we’ve reached the more-or-less halfway point of the season (depending on how the bye weeks dorked up your team’s particular schedule), I guess now’s as good a time as any to revisit my earlier predictions and see how they’re holding up after eight or nine games. Cue the highlight reel!
Week 1 prediction: Packers would win the division
What’s up: The Bears are in first place, one game ahead of the Packers. I also predicted that the Lions might give the Packers some trouble. Where are they? Bringing up the rear.
Week 1 prediction: Either Saints or Falcons (and I called “Saints” after flipping a coin)
What’s up: Falcons, big time! Holy shit, but Atlanta’s on fire at 8-0! As predicted, the Panthers are in the basement, while the Bucs and the Saints are squabbling amongst themselves for second place.
Week 1 prediction: Giants win the division
What’s up: Giants, yo! Everybody else is clawing for second place…three games back.
Week 1 prediction: 49ers win the division
What’s up: 49ers in the lead, one game ahead of Seattle. Pretty much a toss-up, at this point.
Week 1 prediction: Steelers win the division
What’s up: Ravens on top, with Pittsburg one game back.
Week 1 prediction: Texans win the division
What’s up: Texans in the lead, but look at Indy! They remembered how to play!
Week 1 prediction: Patriots win the division
What’s up: Patriots on top, one game ahead of Miami. The fucking Dolphins? Really?
Week 1 prediction: Chargers win the division, though the Broncos would be competitive
What’s up: Broncos are competitive, with San Diego one game behind them, though the Chargers are looking like they’re on the verge of collapsing in on themselves and falling through their own asshole. Also, remember what I said about Kansas City? Yeah. Nothing good going on there.
So, there we are. Despite my missed calls so far as division winners, if the playoffs were held today, six of my eight original picks would be in, and those other two—on paper, anyway—are still in the hunt.
As for biggest surprises, the Bears are pretty impressive, and the Falcons are very quietly making a statement that they’re not to be screwed with. It looks like the Bucs, after a rough go early on, are starting to turn things around, and look at Miami? Where the hell did that come from? Elsewhere, the Chiefs are doing their level best to break Felix Baumgartner’s record for fastest freefall.
I guess we can revisit this in eight weeks or so when the regular season comes to an end and the playoff picture is fully developed. I expect that more of my original picks will be in the crapper by then.
So, can we please get back to talking about porn or bacon now? We at least need to find reasons to bring up leather bodysuits and ball gags, for Terry’s sake, right? If not, then I suppose a Star Trek topic will do.
But, wait. There’s more.
He is the co-owner of Busy Little Beaver Productions and is the producer and co-host for G & T Show and Gates of Sto’vo’kor. He’s directed voice actors, and produced and edited audio podcasts and dramas because he doesn’t have the face for video. He plays well with others and is always on the look out for the next project, the next thing, the next next. If he wasn’t working on something with a half dozen other projects waiting in the wings, somebody please check to make sure he’s still breathing.
During the day, he’s a mild-mannered computer repair man who dabbles in web design in his small, rural, Central California community. He lives with his lovingly dysfunctional family and loyal canine companion and spends most of his time in the closet concocting some hair-brained scheme or another. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with Lego video games, Klingons, and Star Trek Online that borders on the neurotic.
Despite all this, he still finds the time to write the words. Find out what he's doing here.
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