Ask Dayton #79: The 2013 TV Season: Derp
The new TV season is just about here, so what are you excited about, what gives you the “What the FUCK were they thinking?!?!?” screams.
You are the MAN!
I’ve gotta tell you, the coming TV season is just not blowing a lot up my skant.
Yes, there are a few returning shows to which I’m looking forward: venerable favorites like NCIS, The Walking Dead, Scandal and Castle, for example. NCIS, because I’ve been a fan since it was a couple of JAG episodes, The Walking Dead because…well…THE WALKING HOLY SHIT DEAD, Scandal because I like a healthy dose of political shenanigans and well-crafted rapid-fire dialogue to round out an evening, and Castle, if for no reason than I can never get enough of its odd, almost science fiction-like portrayals of novel writers as though they were someone worthy of basic respect and dignity along with a decent wage, rather than the marginalized, soul-crushed vestiges of humanity that Hollywood usually leaves in its wake when trying to capitalize on someone else’s ideas and hard work.
Wait…was that out loud? Ah, fuck it. Not like I’ll be heading to Tinsel Town anytime soon.
Oh, and Stana Katic is hotter than donut grease. Come to think of it, so is Kerry Washington.
With respect to shows premiering this year, I suppose the one that I’m most interested in from the “major networks” is Agents of SHIELD, which is kind of sad when you stop to think that it’s a TV show about super heroes and I’m closer to 50 years old than I’d like to admit. Still, I enjoyed the hell out of The Avengers, and Joss Whedon wrote and directed the Agents pilot, so I expect to be entertained. My only concern is whether the people who take the baton from him for the episodes going forward can match whatever it is he’s about to serve up to us.
The only other genre show that looks in any way interesting to me is Sleepy Hollow. I’m also tempted to give the rebooted Ironside a shot, if for no other reason than I think Blair Underwood is a largely underrated actor who deserves another successful series to showcase his talents. Cynical prick that I am, I expect all three of these shows to be canceled before Christmas. In fact, I’m stunned that Fox hasn’t already yanked Sleepy Hollow just out of reflex. But hey, I’m happy to be proven wrong on any or all of these.
Oh, and though it won’t be coming until next year, I’m definitely in for 24: Live Another Day. Even reconstituted, reheated Jack Bauer will be more fun than two thirds of the stuff Fox will have filling its lineup this season.
As for reality TV? I honestly don’t give the first Grade-A taco shit if someone thinks they can dance, sing, cook, answer trivia, dive into a pool, run an obstacle course, is looking for a husband or wife, wants to live with someone else’s wife or their parents, or whatever. And as for crap like Big Brother, just lock them in and set fire to the fucking house, already. Most of those people make me pray for the Michael Bay asteroid to hurry up and get its ass down here. If aliens are watching transmissions from Earth and somehow interpret the idiots festering that show season after season as ambassadors of humanity, it’s no wonder they give this rock a wide berth, and frankly amazing to me that they haven’t flushed us down some grand celestial crapper.
In recent years, my TV habits have shifted to the point where very, very little is appointment viewing. My TiVo does most of my work for me, and I catch up once the kids are in bed and other stuff around the house is done for the day. I can’t remember the last time I watched a show in “real time.” My viewing choices also have gotten more selective. While I enjoy a few other network shows like the new Hawaii Five-0 and The Big Bang Theory, most of the stuff I really like comes from the cable networks. We’ve already mentioned The Walking Dead, but series like Homeland, Falling Skies, The Newsroom, or Justified? For me, the “Big 4” just don’t have a lot which can compete with stuff like this.
I’m already missing Burn Notice, which just concluded this past Thursday, and Dexter is about to close out its run on Showtime at the end of this month. But, TNT is rolling out Mob City in December, developed by Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, The Walking Dead) and based on John Buntin’s exceptional book L.A. Noir. It’s about the “war” between the police and mobsters like Mickey Cohen and Bugsy Siegel in 1950s Los Angeles. I’m sorry; you had me at Frank Fucking Darabont, okay?
So, in summary, the 2013-2014 TV schedule, aside from a few precious exceptions, doesn’t really grab me all that much.
But, I just got the last season of Spartacus on Blu-ray. Who’s with me?
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He is the co-owner of Busy Little Beaver Productions and is the producer and co-host for G & T Show and Gates of Sto’vo’kor. He’s directed voice actors, and produced and edited audio podcasts and dramas because he doesn’t have the face for video. He plays well with others and is always on the look out for the next project, the next thing, the next next. If he wasn’t working on something with a half dozen other projects waiting in the wings, somebody please check to make sure he’s still breathing.
During the day, he’s a mild-mannered computer repair man who dabbles in web design in his small, rural, Central California community. He lives with his lovingly dysfunctional family and loyal canine companion and spends most of his time in the closet concocting some hair-brained scheme or another. He’s got an unhealthy obsession with Lego video games, Klingons, and Star Trek Online that borders on the neurotic.
Despite all this, he still finds the time to write the words. Find out what he's doing here.
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